Lately Craving More

I'm at the point in my life where I need everyone to be straight up honest with me. If you're upset with me or I made u put the devil mask on your face, tell me. Don't just simply push me away or else I'll end up pushing people away too. I'm afraid if one day, we cross path again, we might not be able to make things right anymore.

I know that life gets easier when you forgive people. Easier said than done, man. And I'm thankful for those who invented the word 'ughhhhhh'. This 'ughhh' reaction comes up every time I feel like dying inside. And of course when I have no idea what to do. What to feel. What to say. What to remember. And. What to cry for. I thought being 20 will be that easy. Hell, no. You want to act like 18 but you have the responsibilities of 25. Adult, old folks think I'm a kid but kids think I'm an adult. This is so depressing.

Apart from being depressed with all these adulting shits, I kinda wasting my evening missing home. I miss all the joy watching my little sister growing up. I bet she has all her upper teeth now. The last time I saw her, there're still empty spots for her new teeth. I used to carry her around when she was little. Right now, I think she's running around with my cousins in the neighborhood playing hide and seek or "kejar-kejar". Those two little feet are stable enough now to not to be pampered with her big sister carrying her around like a lazy pig. Kidding. And again, this is depressing.

Mushy-mushy love story? nahhhhh. I'm done and I don't wanna talk about it. Let us just pretend that my love story is way too complicated to be written in here. Mine is full of dull rainbow, ugly unicorn, stink roses, and black dust. Believe me, I won't  waste your time going through it because right after you finish reading it, you'll be on your way to the hospital, muntah2, pening2, cirit birit. Just that I learned so much from it to the point that now I kind of having major trust issues. To my future soulmate who might be flirting with someone else's jodoh right now, can't wait to make your life miserable. Brace yourself, babe. :D

Okay, my bed needs an urgent superhero's saving. So, I'm off to put on my superhero cape and get myself near to it. And I caught your romantic sleepy eyes while reading my super-sucks-essay, so off you go. :)